Why, you might ask, "squiggles"? Well, here's the thing: I cannot draw. Or paint. I used to love both as a child but then I learnt in school that I'm actually pretty bad at both. That ruined all the fun of this way of expressing and creating. Because who wants to do stuff when they're not good enough? When they don't get it right?
So I didn't draw, or paint, for years. Twenty of them, I believe. Every now and then the urge would arise, I'd take up pen and paper - and then agonise over what to draw. And suffer deep shame because nothing ever turned out the way I imagined it, it was all flat and looked as if a child had drawn it.
Still not encouraging. I stopped again.
Until about two years or so ago, some time late 2018, maybe. I felt to draw, I wanted to express myself with colours, but since I can't do shapes: I bought a colouring book. That was fun! I wanted more of that, wanted more freedom of expression.
Then I discovered ecoline brush pens. First I tried out the Five Shades of Yellow, then bought a whole rainbow, and went for it. Those are squiggles #1 to #3.
Because see, I cannot draw. Or paint. And as long as I call it drawing or painting, even inside of my head, I get stuck. On the not-good-enough, on the shame.
But the doing itself is fun, is freedom, lightness, joy. So what would happen, I asked myself, if I used a different word? One that wasn't loaded with negative emotions. One that expressed the joyfulness and playfulness. One like ... squiggles!
And that word changed the game entirely. Because now everything about this is fun, is lightness and joy and playfulness, both the action and the description!
![[no title]](https://static.wixstatic.com/media/851ccb_bdb537ae761d4e9d98656e33f7fd6eb1~mv2.jpg/v1/fill/w_512,h_510,q_75/851ccb_bdb537ae761d4e9d98656e33f7fd6eb1~mv2.webp)
